The Squawk Heard Round the Plane

I have a really loud laugh. It is hard to control, especially when something is totally ridiculous. Well, this afternoon I came in from Paris, working with a great crew. Anyhow, this being Paris (long and fancy BusinessFirst flight), there is an International Service Manager (ISM) and he did a quick briefing before we started the trip in Houston about keeping it down in the galley - especially during crew breaks (we are selfish and want an undisturbed nap time). Not a problem. Pretty standard - don't be a Mrs. Happy Galley Pants and click every latch and slam every door on every cart while your fellow crew members are on their naps. Be respectful. I got it.

Apparently, I didn't get it on the way back, however. You see I was working with this really awesome crew, one of the best in recent memory, in fact! I met a cool guy named Joe and we really got along well and seem to have the same sense of humor - we were laughing a lot. Well we were babysitting the back galley while some of the others were on their break. In hindsight, this was probably a Squawk waiting to happen. A call light went off, and I said "Not it" because I had gotten the one prior to that one. His turn. That's how it works. So he took a cup of water to the call light and on his way back to the galley he picked up this random, stray leaf of newspaper just hanging out in the middle of the aisle. He had been mercilessly been making fun of me on the flight to Paris for sorting out the newspapers out of the trash to be recycled, so I asked him if he wanted to recycle it. He rolled his eyes and was like "Yeah," and proceeded to crumple it up into a tight wad and shoot it into the corner trashcan for three points.

So I get up to go to the lav, and this girl - maybe late teens, early twenties- hangs out into the aisle and flags me down. She was like "That newspaper was set there for a reason; I threw up on the floor and it was covering up my vomit."

Okay. It was really hard to keep a straight face in this situation. Many things were going through my mind: 1) Gross! 2) You are old enough to vomit into a bag or the lav 3) Joe just touched your vomit cover! I really haven't the slightest idea what I told this girl, because I high-tailed it to the back galley to tell Joe what he just (unknowingly) did.

Joe: "You're shitting me." I shake my head trying to stifle laughter. The look on his face is priceless: disgust, confusion, but still seeing the humor in the complete absurdity of it all. I let out one high-pitched bird like Squawk - seriously on accident. I was trying to keep it down. It was a funny moment....

Within 0.2 seconds the ISM comes roaring in the back galley and was like "THAT'S not going to fly! That (loud noise[Squawk]) can be heard five rows into the cabin!" in that imposing leadership-like condescending whisper. He must have been wearing speed skates or something. He really looked like a caricature of himself, all red-faced and vein-popping. Of course we explode into a fit of giggles once he leaves.

From that point on, Joe started miming a crane and Squawking (not as loud as me) for a few cheap laughs at my expense. For a guy who picked up vomit in his bare hands without knowing it, I'll let that one slide.

Coke and the Asparagus Steamer

I am a Coca-Cola addict. Agent DragonFly can attest to the severity of said addiction. I am very picky - Coke Zero? Zero about sums it up. Diet Coke tastes gross. Mexican Coke? No, thank you! Pure, American, Coca-Cola in the red can with the white ribbon, please! Actually there is a hierarchy to the taste of Coke, as well. First comes the supreme king out of a glass bottle - but this is hard to find and pretty expensive. Then out of a can - and I love the sound of that pop-top. Then comes fountain soda. Then comes out of a plastic bottle 20 oz., 1L, or 2L. This is seriously the bottom of the barrel in Coke drinking quality - there is something definitely off with the flavor and the fizz evaporates exponentially faster.

That being said, a little over three years ago, Coke introduced MyCokeRewards.com, a program that rewards frequent Coke drinkers with free stuff. Of course, I was one of the first to start redeeming the codes under the bottle caps and on the 12 and 24 pack cartons via text message and on their website. Over these past three years I have gotten 2 tee shirts with various Coke logos, a cooler with zipper pulls in the shape of Coke bottles, 4 Melamine plates with the Sprite logo on it, a Coke key chain, a Coke Santa Christmas ornament, a model of the Coke 16 wheeler delivery truck, and a Coke lunchbox, among other things. But last month was the ultimate in rewards arrived in the mail. An asparagus steamer! At 1475 points, it was a little steep (considering that a 20 oz. bottle is 3 points) but I am in happy homemaker love with the thing. I don't really see the connection between Coke and asparagus, but I love that I got it free for drinking my favorite beverage! :D

My Idea Books

I am a seriously awesome homemaker in the making, I just don't have the home yet. In middle school, my favorite classes were the Home Economics courses - the ones with titles like Threads and Breads, and Foods and Fabrics. I was also the teacher's aide for my middle school Home Ec teacher, which meant that I did the dishes and kitchen prep for her classes and got class credit - and p.s. I loved it! My high school did not have a Future Homemakers' of America club, or else I would have joined, I am positive. I knit, crochet, tat, embroider, sew, bake, cook, and am in the middle of a quilt. This is definitely my mother's influence on me - she's always doing something.

Well, I have always been an avid magazine reader and recipe ripper. If I see a cool recipe, or a pretty flower arrangement, or a beautifully painted living room, I rip it out and save it. I have been doing this since I was in middle school - and eventually I get a big pile of inspirational materials. Then, I break out the scissors and the waste paper basket and a blank photo album and about once a month and put it all together in what I like to call my Idea Book. I have several completed through the years, and it is fun to look back at the change in my tastes....and my consistencies as well. If I see a pretty picture of Jackie O, I always cut it out and include it - no matter what - she is always inspiring. There is a recipe for a Whole Wheat and Honey Challah Bread that I cut out of a Better Homes & Gardens issue circa 1986 (I actually found the magazine when we moved when I was 13- I didn't cut it out when I was 3...) that I love and still make from time to time when I am home in Albuquerque and will always be a part of my repertoire.

Now this actually seems to be a trend, with people making Inspiration Boards (I think the book The Secret started this...although I haven't read it...). I had this idea all along- it's just that mine was just more domestic. :-)