Scuba Class for the Slow Kid

Well, I must admit that I am that "slow kid" in my scuba class. I am having a hard time dealing with this fact, because I have always been something of a teacher's pet, star pupil. Well, anyways, the schoolroom classes went okay - four to five hours each night for two nights going over basic procedures and hand signals and equipment. It did get a little annoying because there were two "junior" divers sitting in on the class who were like 12 and kept asking inane questions and we were all rolling our eyes and looking at the clock....

The next two nights were at Bellaire pool. This was awesome. It is a heated pool. This is important. This is about the temperature of most recreational diving in the Caribbean and Micronesia where I want to be doing ALL of my diving. Anyways...my slow kid status began to show up on the first night of these pool dives when we had to clear out a half flooded and then completely flooded mask underwater. Um, this is hard. First, you have to break the seal that the mask creates to your skin and water either trickles or gushes like a geyser into your mask stunning your senses. You a) can not see b) have water going up your nose c) possibly have water in your contacts. You then have to remember to NOT PANIC!!! Which is obviously your first instinct, because you're underwater and you feel like you're drowning with water going up your nose; but you have to remember to rely on your regulator - the thingy in your mouth that provides air to you from the tank strapped to your back. So, you must calm yourself down (somehow?) and then press on the top of your mask to create a small gap between your face and the mask whilst snorting through your nose to get all the water out. This is an elaborate thing that once I did it I realized it was easier than I thought, but still something that I certainly DID NOT WANT TO DO AGAIN! But I had to. This time with a mask completely full of water.....I wanted to shoot someone. Once I realized that I had to do it again, it took me forever to get up enough nerve to just break the seal on my mask and let the water in let alone clear it, so I had to be babysat by the Dive Master to be tutored through this. And then there was full mask removal and donning and clearing.....that was interesting....I do not know how everyone else got through this so quickly. They seriously must be robots.

The second day of the pool dives I was again showing my slow kid status. We went over to the diving board pool and were able to do deep dives. All the first day we were just at most in 8 feet of water. But now we were descending to 16 feet. This was really quite exciting. Until they told me I had to do mask clearing again, this time at the bottom of this pool, with no way to panic by just standing up. I swear, I was seriously rethinking why I was doing this to myself. The instructors realized I was the slow kid, so I was always pulled first to show my skill so I could have the most possible time. In the end I just ended up having my own instructor, because I got so behind with that damnable mask clearing again, and I needed to play catch-up. I must say, that I do get everything else pretty easily. It is just this stupid mask clearing. I absolutely hate it. It is awful. But, on the bright side, all the instructors know me by name, and have a cursory knowledge of my background. I was the only one invited to dinner that night. The robots weren't.

So Friday was a day of rest. And good Lord, did I need it. I think my equipment weighs about as much as I do; when I am standing at the side of that pool all suited up waiting to jump in, I swear I am about to die, or my back is about to snap in two. So I booked a deep tissue massage at four PM, and slept in until two (I didn't get home until around 2AM from the dinner and margaritas the night before). I got my tanks refilled with air, and I just vegged in front of the TV all night. I went to bed at 9, because I had to get up fairly early for me (being a nocturnal creature).

So today were the first two official "dives" to be logged into my dive log at Lake 288 (off of Highway 288!). The first dive was pretty cool, we descended 20 feet into the murk that is a freshwater Texas lake, and swam around a bit, and everything went very well, except for the fact that the temperature of the water was 60.3 degrees. Imagine your hot water heater isn't working and you went to take a bath. That was what it was like. I cut a slight figure, I am not trying to brag, but I am skinny person. There isn't much of a polar layer on me - I was absolutely miserable. I mean teeth chattering as best they could with a reg in my mouth. That first dive we were in the water for about a total of 35 minutes, 20 minutes of actual dive time.

The second dive was the skill dive. We descend and we were put into a line. I had been psyching myself up "Kerri can clear her mask!" etc. The mistake here, was that the instructor chose a robot to go before me. So robot floods mask and has a complete freak out. I mean he's going up the surface (along with instructor) and meanwhile I am watching and am like "%&*#" and start to freak out myself. The rest of us are down there doing nothing but freezing to death, and I take a gander at my O2 levels (because I am breathing heavy - panic) and realize I do not have enough to complete everything that I need to do on this dive. So I find the Dive Master (he's just supposed to observe and be there in case of emergency) and give the signs of PROBLEM COLD PROBLEM AIR. He checks my gauges and nods and takes me for a swim around the sunken platform to warm up. I then see instructor and give same message to him, and that I want to surface. He surfaces with me, and we talk. I am uncontrollable shaking at the surface - I mean like the kind you see in the movies of arctic exploration. He says I have enough oxygen to go down and complete everything except for mask clearing because he knows I have a problem with it if I am up for it and I say "Yes." I mean, I am already in the cold water, what's another 6 minutes? So I descend, I complete everything else, and am so low on air by the end that I have to use his spare regulator off of his tank to ascend. Scary stuff indeed.

By the time I go ashore and strip off my wetsuit and diving booties my feet are literally blue, a lovely shade of cornflower. No joke. One of the robots is a medical student and was a little concerned, he said towel off, get in dry clothes and sit in the sun, or my hot car for a while. So I did. Meanwhile the other half of my class did their second dive. Two other robots didn't complete the mask clearing, by the way. I knew it would catch up with them.

So by the time the second team finished, I talked to the instructors and swapped out my tank and decided to go down again by myself and complete the dive I didn't finish. Go me! The two robots didn't get back in! The instructors were impressed with my gumption and attitude and goal-setting.

So I get back in the drink, and descend with one of the instructors who is really very patient with my slowness and I DID IT! I did it with water that is murky and ice-cold and green! I did it when two robots chickened out! I did it! I did it! I DID IT!

Now, for tomorrow!

And post script to all this mayhem, when I came home tonight and got in my shower for the longest hot shower of my life my foot left a gross brown footprint of gunk from the lake on my bathmat when I got in. I almost puked.